Being Well

I was reminded by someone recently that my last post was in 2020. It seems that it wasn’t that long ago. And that the older you get the faster time goes. We are just before Thanksgiving weekend and as I prepare for family & friends, I am extremely grateful for everything I have. Including the incredible privilege of working with people as a Social Worker and therapist. Since 2020, I have seen several hundred people through my work and have continued to learn from each and every client. Life has continued to happen with all of it’s ups and downs. I feel that ISTDP has helped me to become more aware of my own emotions which although not easy, has definitely allowed me to know what I need to do to be happier. Using ISTDP has definitely become more intuitive and comfortable. Reading ISTDP books, watching and participating in ongoing trainings with leading ISTDP practitioners has also helped me to develop my understanding and ability in using this modality. Last month, I attended the annual ISTDP conference which was two days of online teaching by Dr.Allan Abbass and Dr.Joel Town. This was my 6th year of attending this training conference. I completed my 3 year core training with Dr. Town in 2022. I am currently participating in monthly clinical presentations with Dr. Abbass which is further deepening my knowledge. The best ISTDP book I’ve read recently is The Lies We Tell Ourselves: How to Face the Truth, Accept Yourself and Create a Better Life by Jon Frederickson. People have told me it was a hard read. Also, that it helped them take responsibility to stop avoiding their needs and putting others above them. This was true for me. Becoming what psychologist Dr. Carl Rogers called a “fully functioning person” requires developing the true belief that I am as worthy as any person. We are often made to deviate from this path early in life to please others and protect ourselves, especially with attachment figures. When we comply and submit, others like us and we avoid trouble, at least for a while. Eventually when our needs aren’t met, we resist, freeze or flee. Internal and external problems arise and can fester. This pattern becomes entrenched and brings on a myriad of problems. Realizing how we’ve learned to respond to others when our deepest needs aren’t met is at the heart of ISTDP. Feeling without judging yourself, being honest with yourself and others. Taking healthy action to fix what needs to be fixed. Letting go of things we can’t control and moving ahead as best as we can with what we have. This process takes time and courage and is often painful. Again and again, I am struck by how helping clients face and change unhelpful strategies (defenses), connect and actually feel their core emotions can relieve them of the weight of anxiety and allow them to live healthier lives. Life long learning is my goal. With gratitude.